This morning started at 5am for me. The plan was to leave at 5:30, but that quickly turned into 5:45 (to my dads discontent!). Waking up a few times before my alarm, I kept thinking "this is my last night in my own bed". Not that my bed is outrageously special. It's a twin bed that was passed down to me, but still an odd feeling knowing I won't be using it for about A year... The past month or so as this journey has been getting closer, I kept getting asked the same question, "how are you feeling?" As though I was supposed to be breaking down, or shaking in my socks nervous about leaving. I have never thought of myself as someone who gets homesick. Every single time my answer was "I am excited!" It's true. The main thing I am nervous about is having to speak in front of the group of interns (I always get shaky speaking in front of groups). Saying goodbye to my friends was fairly easy for me as well, there are so many ways to keep in contact, plus everyone has their own busy lives anyways. I know my absence won't be unbearable for any of them.
On the way to the airport my parents were normal as ever. My dad making not-so-funny jokes, me laughing, and my mom shaking her head. As we parked the car the main thing on my mind was that boarding time was in a mere 15 minutes. (I may have taken a bit too long of a shower this morning, but hey, it was my last shower in California for 11 months! I was cherishing it.) As we grabbed my luggage and heading into the airport everything was going quickly and smoothly. There was only one person in front of us for checking in. My luggage (having been weighed at home at least 10 times) was quickly passed through on the belt behind the counter. I got my boarding pass and down the hall we went to security. Then my dad said "well, this is where we stop". I hadn't thought about this part. Obviously I knew I would be saying goodbye but it hadn't really registered. Something about this trip to the airport still felt unreal. I put down my bag and hugged my dad, and then my mom. I was shocked to feel myself getting choked up. I never get choked up. If you ask anyone who knows me well, I am not the most sappy emotional person... But saying goodbye to my parents managed to strike a nerve. I am actually going... I won't see my parents for months, and I am getting on that plane all alone... We shared our goodbyes and quickly said I love you, and I picked up my bags and headed forward, only looking back once to say I love you again and waving. I love my parents dearly and I will miss them exceptionally, but I did not expect the tears I was holding back as I walked through the security line. Again there was only one person in front of me, and I only waited about 45 seconds before getting through the security check with no problems. I wasn't even asked to take off my shoes! I sure do enjoy the mellow atmosphere of the Burbank airport! As I walked to my gate and sat down a few tears rolled down my checks. As I looked around at the variety of people also waiting to bored I noticed people of every walk of life. A family with a young toddler, a mother with her daughter leaning on her shoulder, a few professional looking people with suits and briefcases. Here I was sitting by myself trying to hold back my tears. Thank goodness I had a few tissues in my purse! Within 10 minutes I was in line boarding.
As the plane started to roll towards the runway I had a drippy nose from my emotional few minutes. I probably freaked out the guy next to me who thinks I'm sick with a gross nose and swollen eyes. Tight enclosed spaces are always a great time for sharing germs! As the plane sped down the runway closed my eyes and smiled. I am actually doing it. God got me here. I was so full of gratitude and excitement for what God is doing, and yet sadness for leaving. As we rose into the sky I stretched my neck to get one last look at my California ocean. Still holding back the tears I started thinking about how beautiful God's creation is. Looking past the ugly skyscrapers in LA I could see the sunshine breaking through the clouds in just a few spots creating beautiful beams of light where everything else was gloomy. Going through the clouds in an airplane never ceases to amaze me. As we emerged from the gray fogginess of the cloud layer, not being able to see, and into the sunlight, I couldn't help but thank God for the beauty that is sometimes hidden from us, that is, until we get a new perspective. Looking down on clouds from above always looks like a giant bubble bath to me. As a kid that is exactly what I imagined Heaven to look like... The clouds as our floor.
Even though it was harder than I thought saying my goodbyes, I am still absolutely excited to see what God does with this journey He has called me to. As I write this on the airplane, I am just moments away from meeting a whole new group of people that I will be serving alongside with. Even through my fears of speaking in front of them, and knowing I will probably be the youngest (typical for me), I know that God has something divine planned for this group of young people, who like me have said their goodbyes today, and left the comfort of their lives to serve for the purpose of our awesome God's Kingdom.
God bless! Please keep us in your prayers as we spend this week training in Colorado! All glory to my awesome Savior!
Wow! I am crying reading this. Thankful to have met you. I'm encouraged by your outlook and it's good to keep looking at how God has provided until now. Love you girl! See you soon!
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